Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday

 Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday

And…begin:

1. Is a stamp collector whose collection is worth up to $50,000

A. Merrick Garland (AG)

2. As Associate Counsel to the President, led the team that won confirmation of Ruth Bader Ginsburg

B. Gina Raimondo (Commerce)
3. Child of Puerto Rican parents, 1st language is Spanish C. Linda Thomas-Greenfield (U.N.)
4. Performs in a band that plays “wonk rock”  D. Pete Buttigieg (Transportation)
5. Was almost killed in ’94 by Rwanda by Hutu extremists as they began their genocide against the Tutsis E. Antony Blinken (State)
6. 35th-generation New Mexican and member of a tribe that has lived there since the 1200s F. Ron Klain (Chief of Staff)
7. Sold his comic books to help pay for college G. Deb Haaland (Interior)
8. Was made a Commander of the Royal Order of the Polar Star by the King of Sweden for promoting a clean-energy economy H. Janet Yellen (Treasury)
9. Undergrad thesis was on influence of Puritanism on U.S. foreign policy I. Miguel Cardona (Education)
10. Like Pete Buttigieg, is a Rhodes Scholar J. Jennifer Granholm (Energy)

Answers:  1. H   2. F   3. I   4. E   5. C   6. G   7. A   8. J   9. D   10. B

Scoring:  1-4 Your Cabinet is Rickety  5-7  Your Cabinet Is Above-Ikea Quality  8-10 Your Cabinet Will One Day Be Worth $10,000 on Antiques Roadshow

And now, our feature presentation…

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Note: If you’re twisting up a blunt this morning, here’s a test to see if you’ve had too much: when you’re convinced that today’s date—011921—is a palindrome, you’ve had too much.  Have a mellow day.  —Mgt.

By the Numbers:

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Tomorrow. Finally.

Days ’til inauguration day: One!!!

Number of days into his administration that President Biden will rejoin the Paris Climate Accord and repeal the Muslim travel ban: 1

Percent of federal property on which it’ll be mandatory to wear a mask indoors for Biden’s first 100 days in office: 100%

Number of vaccines Biden has pledged to have administered in his first 100 days: 100 million

Number of days Trump ended up spending at one of his resorts during his presidency, funneling money into his own pockets every time: 419

Number of rooms inside the White House, including 35 bathrooms: 132

Gallons of paint it takes to cover the White House: 570

D.C. Inauguration Day Forecast

Mostly sunny with a light breeze

High: 42

Puppy Pic of the Day: Gotcha fail…

CHEERS to anticipation. With just over 24 hours to go, here’s our agenda for the day:

8-11am: General feelings of impatience
11am-noon: General feelings of disappointment that checking the time every five minutes isn’t helping dissipate the feelings of impatience

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12-1pm: Lunch

1pm-2pm: General feelings of dread over knowledge that if something bad happens on the world stage, Trump is still technically in charge
2pm-4:20pm: General feelings of calm while breathing in and out of paper sack
4:20pm: Toke?

4:21pm-8pm: Happy Hour
8pm-9pm: Star Trek. No calls, please.
9pm-Midnight: Happy Hour II: Happy Hour Harder
Midnight-12pm: General feelings of oh hey the booze and weed are finally kicking i………..

And then, of course, tomorrow at 12:01pm: “Curses! Overslept.”

CHEERS to two fellas who ain’t gonna be invited to Wall Street’s next holiday party, I betcha. With mere hours before his inauguration (see above), President-elect Biden announced two more members of his administration who are likely to give the one-percenters heartburn: Gary Gensler as head of the Securities and Exchange Commission, and FTC member Rohit Chopra policing the scam artists and other assorted fiduciary fiends as director of Elizabeth Warren’s Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Bloomberg minces no words:

They are bad news for the banking industry, which has been bracing for the prospect of stiffer rules since Biden was elected in November.

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CFPB nominee Rohit Chopra

Gensler, 63, is a former Goldman Sachs Group Inc. partner who gained a reputation as a Wall Street scourge when he engaged in bruising battles while advancing derivatives regulation at the CFTC during the Obama administration. […]

The Warren-aligned Progressive Change Campaign Committee said the selection of Chopra was “a big win for consumers and a sign that executive power will be used to get tangible results for the American people.” One reason Chopra was picked, supporters say, is that he could start overturning some of Trump’s policies on Day One, ensuring that the CFPB returns to its focus on helping consumers deal with the complexities of the financial system.

Fearless prediction of what their first words will be during their first day on the job: “We’re gonna need a bigger baseball bat.”

CHEERS to the original “spokes” men—Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!  On January 19, 1903, it was announced with great fanfare that the starting gun for a new bicycle race called the “Tour de France” would be fired that July.  The grand prize: 3,000 francs and a lifetime supply of butt cushions.

BRIEF SANITY BREAK

END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

CHEERS to President Biden’s Amazing Magic Show. I have one thing to say to anyone who thinks that the inauguration will be boring without a live audience of millions: “Ha!” Here’s a preview:

THE PRESIDENT: Ladies and gentlemen, honest to god, hand over my heart, I will now make the Keystone XL pipeline disappear. No joke, no joke. I really mean it, folks, watch this:

[Poof!!!

THE PRESIDENT: And may God protect our troops.

Penn and Teller, eat yer heart out.

CHEERS to good spelling.  On this date in 1955, three years after Macy’s made it a household name in America, Scrabble made its debut in Australia and the UK. If what I read is correct, the highest scoring word if you hit all the right bonus squares is still “sesquioxidizing.” Meanwhile my highest-scoring word while sober is still “cow.”

Ten years ago in C&J: January 19, 2011

CHEERS to breaking bread with Barack.  Guess Hu came to dinner last night?  If you said Chinese president Hu Jintao, that was a damn lucky guess.  It was a star-studded event (Barbra Streisand!  Jackie Chan!  Bill Clinton!  Jimmy Carter!), and everyone had a good time.  The menu was half-a-notch above burgers and fries:

❧  D’Anjou Pear Salad with Farmstead Goat Cheese, Fennel, Black Walnuts, and White Balsamic
❧  Poached Maine Lobster
❧  Orange Glazed Carrots and Black Trumpet Mushrooms
❧  Dumol Chardonnay “Russian River” 2008
❧  Lemon Sorbet
❧  Dry Aged Rib Eye with Buttermilk Crisp Onions
❧  Double Stuffed Potatoes and Creamed Spinach
❧  Quilceda Creek Cabernet “Columbia Valley” 2005
❧  Old Fashioned Apple Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream
❧  Poet’s Leap Riesling “Botrytis” 2008

It was lavish and swank, with the finest of food and drink.  Hey, why not—it’s their money.

And just one more…

CHEERS to the most beautiful spread of land in the universe.  Happy 92nd Birthday—aka Acadia Name Day—to Maine‘s Acadia National Park!  Miles and miles of unspoiled and federally protected nature that invites travelers to rest their weary bones and let the soul-replenishing eye candy revive their hopes for a better tomorrow:

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Bass Harbor Head Lighthouse
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Taken February 2017. Lovely sandmanship.
Fall colors at Acadia National Park
Autumn in Acadia.

Come on up and visit sometime. For your maximum enjoyment, bring sturdy boots and sunscreen. For our maximum enjoyment, bring lots of credit cards. 

Get plenty of sleep tonight. Big day ahead. Floor’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about today?

Today’s Shameless C&J Testimonial

Cheers and Jeers Guy Extra Super-Duper Stupid

Wonkette

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